Once upon a time I used to be a libran

Once upon a time I used to be a libran - not any more (People who are familiar with the zodiac signs will know that this is not a misspelt version of liberal, which I am not as will be evident shortly). Yes the apocalypse has preponed its date with earth (at least for me) and displaced all the zodiac signs forward by one month. If you want to know how that happened, check this link. But more importantly I am sick worried now what?

I am a virgo now going by the new zodiac rulebook. From being a charming, kind and romantic soul appreciating finer things in life (my modesty prevents me from adding any further), I unwillingly transform into a practical, inflexible and reserved bloke loving health foods (what happens to all the junk food which used to sustain me thick and thin - the latter rarely though!). Gone are the blissful days of indecisive languor, I will be seen fussing over cleanliness and hygiene both inside and off my plate with a tenacity which classifies almost as blasphemy in the libran cult. Also my used-to-be fellow librans, lay off your secret ambitions of a career in fine arts, for now you need to be pouring over volumes preparing to be a doctor or scientist ...imagine! And this is just the beginning of the astrophysical tyranny of astronomical proportions (literally too!). I was really anxious to know about my new zodiac identity so I skirmished some webpages on their traits. All the virgos seem to suffer an OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) about orderliness. Librans live life king size on a king size bed (queen in my case) strewn with anything required for human existence not farther than a foot. And what's up with this lady of the actual virgo sign (what she keeps holding one wonders) - Google told me that it signifies a virgin and obviously belongs to the feminine class of zodiac signs. On the other hand, libra is a masculine macho sign of the zodiac - look at Mahatama Gandhi, Amitabh Bachchan (go getters all of us). So, to sum up, this is what I have got after this celestial rearrangement.. from being this super balanced cool girl, I turn into this cleanliness-obsessed tyrant. I am angry!

But every cloud has a silver lining (like virgos save more money!). Me and my fiance have always faced curious to sympathetic glances of how incompatible librans and capricorns are (he was born in January, the birth month of all those cerebral boring people who faint at the idea of having fun). I hear that virgos and capricorns get along well though. But hey, even he is not a capricorn any more... :(