NPM - Day 3

The motivation for the NPM series is to celebrate April 2015 -- the National poetry month (hence NPM in the title), by sharing a favorite poem of mine every day of this month, starting April 13, 2015. 

 

Still I Rise

-- Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

It could have happened any where!

This is a follow-up from my last post where, triggered by the recent discussions on sexual assault on US campuses, I recounted an encounter with a vulnerable young woman during my graduate school days at Yale. Recently mathbabe also answered the query of a father worried about the safety of soon-to-be-college-going-daughter, in the wake of reports about disturbingly high prevalence of sexual assault on US campuses. I loved Aunt Pythia's advice and encourage you to go and read her response in full here. I reproduce part of her answer below, which really appealed to me and seems worth considering by all parents sharing such worries:

"Also, and this is actually the most important piece of advice: get your daughter to drink with you a few times, before she goes to college, so she’ll know what it feels like to have too much. The most educational night of my life was a night in the summer before college, when my dad got me and my friend Becky puking drunk. I never let that happen again, because I knew when I’d had too much. I think far too many kids get to college never having been allowed to go overboard with drinking, so they do it for the first time with strangers. Bad idea!"

I need to clarify, especially since the common theme in this and also my previous post was ensuring responsible drinking by young girls, that I do not at all think this is the root of the problem. In fact, the point here is that since we live in an unkind and highly twisted world, we need to watch out for ourselves as best as we can and responsible drinking just helps retain that much needed self-control in threatening situations. This is not to deny the heart-rending misfortune that even after such precautions girls may find themselves forced to live through unspeakable experiences. See this recent rolling stone article about a particularly horrifying example that unfolded at University of Virginia. It really is tantamount to an institutionalization of barbarism! Since the RS report came out, some heads have rolled but it is too little-too late and situation is very very far from acceptable. I guess since I myself work in a research university and have taught undergraduates as part of my academic commitment, I feel deeply appalled and outraged that university campuses seem to be turning into inadvertent havens for sexual predators, where they walk free among us with such impudence. :(
In any case, until compelling comprehensive changes are made to manage, report and prevent these crimes (yes that's what they are, STFU about 'suspensions' and 'disciplinary action' bull shit!), girls/boys keep safe, and keep each other safe. Let this not turn out to be a Utopian dream, please!

One night in New Haven

I came across this strong rebuttal on a rather uncharitable take on the rape culture prevalent in US colleges. Also, recently, MIT released the results of an internal survey which recorded disturbingly high prevalence (one in six) of sexual assault amidst undergraduate women. I think it is very important to have such frank conversations for a reliable diagnosis of this problem, but any solution/mitigation necessarily requires addressing the causes/catalysts of such culture with equal openness and honesty.

Since I completed my undergraduate and master's education in India, I do not know enough to comment on the veracity of statistics quoted in various reports, but my general impression based on third-hand information is that it is indeed a serious threat to a free and safe environment any educational institute requires to thrive. It also reminded me of an incident in my graduate school which I want to share here.

It was during the semi-final year of my Ph.D. when the research was finally in a place that I could find time to indulge in minor time extravagances such as going for Saturday night Yale repertory theatre screening of classic plays. I was particularly looking forward to it this time -- "Winter's Tale" a famous play by Shakespeare with two of my girl-friends and fellow scientists. And it turned out to be a really pleasant evening when I sat enraptured by ace performances, with Lupita Nyong'o playing the beautiful Perdita to perfection (her precocious talent evident in her Yale Drama school days, is common knowledge after her Oscar for 12 years a slave.) .

It was only when the play ended, did I realize that it was past 9:30 p.m. and my flimsy jacket would be fighting a losing battle against the chill on the walk back home. It was a saturday night and the place had come alive with nearby Toad's place, a new haven bar with a cult following, featuring a local but apparently popular country music band. There were youngsters everywhere, laughing merry-making and pulling each other for another drink. Their infectious enthusiasm made me momentarily forget the sting of the cold wind that was blowing that night.

I had barely walked two blocks, during which the crowd on the road had considerably thinned, when I heard an "excuse me" in an abnormally high-pitched voice. As I looked back, I saw a really young girl walking towards me in an unusually acrobatic style. As she approached me, the reason became clear -- she strongly smelled of alcohol and looking at her I became acutely aware of my overdressed self. She spoke again in a slur, which after she repeated 3-4 times on my request, translated into -- she needed a cab and wasn't aware where to get it from. She had a petite stature which barely reached my shoulder even with her towering heels. I asked her to walk with me, and eventually had to hold her from falling, while she tic-tac-toed on the road. She continued to ramble on as we walked huddled together, and putting together bits and pieces from her incoherent speech, I came to know that she is studying in Quinnipiac University from a neighboring town, and had come down with her boyfriend and his friends for the 'concert' at Toad's place. She had a spat with her boyfriend which led him to apparently behave (equally if I may add!) silly and dump her by the road. Given her state, I wasn't sure if putting her in a cab was a good idea as she did not have a place to stay in the town. So I decided to walk her to the nearest Yale police beat and arrange Yale escort for her (It is a great service reserved for Yale students and affiliates where they can request Yale transportation practically any time of the day anywhere within the city limits).

Just seeing the blue uniform of Yale police officer inside the small booth bathed with the yellow light warmed my heart. I heaved an audible sigh of relief, catalyzed by my panting, as by now she had completely sagged in my arms, and I was almost dragging her while her incoherent blabberings continued. I quickly told the officer of the situation; he encouraged me to wait on the pavement outside his cubicle for the Yale escort while he would try to expedite its arrival, and went back in his booth making calls. I had already requested for Yale shuttle service and informed them of my location -- they had given me an unusually long wait time given it was Saturday night and many Yale vans were doing double duty dispatching inebriated Yalies to their safe and warm abodes. As we waited for the shuttle, I asked if her boyfriend's number is stored in her phone and tried calling him to no avail. Then she suddenly exclaimed, staring at my hands, "you are so dark, you are not from here, are you?". I replied that she was right and gave her a brief speech on India, by the end of which her eyelids had started drooping. I stopped talking wondering if it was the alcohol or our conversation (I was scared to let her sleep, for both her and my well being!). Suddenly a car turned around the corner, and after coming to a brief halt raced past us. The screech of the tires made her jerk and she slid out of my arms on the pavement, screaming "it was my boyfriend, and the jerk did not stop for me". (My personal guess is that seeing her next to Yale police booth with a stranger might have scared him away!). As I tried to haul her back to her feet, she continued to talk oblivious of my attempts to pick her up. In the mean time, the Yale officer had come outside and he helped me get her back on her feet while we both saw a Yale shuttle approaching us. I showed my Yale ID to the driver and explained him that though the intended traveler is not a Yale affiliate, she needs to be taken some where safe to spend the night. He nodded and a huge weight lifted off me -- literally and metaphorically! As she stumbled towards the escort car, she looked back and shouted " you have been such a good samaritan", produced some money from the folds of her dress and tossed it towards me before collapsing on the car seat. Yale officer and I collected the bills strewn on the pavement and handed them to the driver, who then drove out into dark depths of the night.

As I resumed my walk towards my home, I wondered where would she be (I had forgotten to ask her name!), what could have happened to her, how would her parents react if they ever come to know of this (will they?), what about that boyfriend who had dumped her in such a vulnerable state, and most importantly why do young women open themselves to situations where they are entirely at the mercy of some passerby and his/her intentions. Yes, it is an institution's responsibility to care for the well being of its students, but it cannot do this successfully without students being an active collaborator in this exercise. I am all for freedom to dress and do as we please, but where/how do we draw the line between harmless fun and risk? These questions come in sharper focus with the recent conversations about rape culture in US colleges, but to me their relevance resonates far outside US geographical borders.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and also his/her coordinates

I recently came across this really interesting socio-cultural experiment undertaken by a women journalist. She sent a picture of hers to more than 40 photographers across 2 countires and asked them to touch up her pic using photoshop and "make her look beautiful" . The detailed news report can be found here with different versions of the pics she received from across the globe. Besides clear elucidation of the fact that perception of beauty is largely cultural in context, it also reflects some strong social and religious underpinnings in specific cases -- brought out most strikingly by Moroccon version which I enclose below (do I need to seek permission for this?)

Assuming that photoshopping skills are constant across the region (which is clearly not true), I am tempted to share my observations on some of the pics here. I (and my occasional jest) have absolutely no intent to hurt some one's feelings or pride about their culture.

1. Morocco - Ahem ahem.
2. India - (Ignoring the Croor-Singh eyebrows) We like our girls to be shy, modest and look demure.
(It may also explain the mysterious diultion of clavicle and female anatomy neck down.)

3. Venezuela - We like our girls to be in "pink" of health.

4. Argentina - Let us hit the club.. again (and raise a glass to Lionel Messi.)

5. Vietnam - Either they are super secure in their skins, or the just don't get photoshop!

6. Philippines - So what if I still believe that my girl friend is a femme fatale (and a scary one at that!)

7. Sri Lanka - Do people really use green eye shadow with orange lipsticks??

8. United States -  I knew Matrix was true and all of us are one giant simulation run by aliens with green eyes.

9. UK - I love my queens, princesses (essentially all royalty et al.) and everyone that looks like them.

10. Australia - I just find it pritty wee-erd that you don't have blue eyes! And whoever advised you to not blush your cheeks has got a kangaroo loose in his top paddock.

11. Bangladesh - One needs to eat lot of maacher-jhol to have hair like that.

12. Chile - I want to be fashionable and I am still figuring out what the hell it means.

13. Germany - I basically want you to look like that pic of my great grandma, hanging in the old library of my 4th mansion.

14. Greece - I believe in eternal beauty, even if it requires you to go to bed with your make up on (and please don't flutter those super long eyelashes in surprise!)

15. Indonesia - I wish I was fairer!

Why Are There Still So Few Women in Science?

I usually refrain from talking about women in science issues to avoid the risk of being stereotyped as yet another shrill feminist selling a sob tale about problems faced by women in the male-dominated scientific era. Over the years, however, I have unwillingly yet unmistakably realized the importance of this issue which, even if doesn't affect the lucky few in their immediate surroundings or future, leads to an undesirable and unhealthy skewness within the scientific culture and its practitioners, who "by construction" should be unbiased if nothing else.

Eileen Pollack in her excellent article in today's New York Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/magazine/why-are-there-still-so-few-women-in-science.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

articulates convincingly many such problems and concomitant challenges faced by women in scientific fields. She is a Yale alumni and her undergraduate major was Physics, both facts which bring the story quite close to home for me (though, unlike Eileen, I was a graduate student there and had a very pleasant experience overall!).  The article is a bit long but a very easy and engaging read.

One of the statements in Pollack's article which resonated with my experience more than the others was this:

...people’s biases stem from “repeated exposure to pervasive cultural stereotypes that portray women as less competent by simultaneously emphasizing their warmth and likability compared to men.”

This has actually manifested itself in a few varieties during my academic experience. Quite a few women scientists I know, who are very competitive in their fields, almost always tend to be slightly (and surprisingly!) apologetic about it. This subconscious or conscious feeling (hint: which is definitely not genetic or biological) necessarily forces them to "conform" in some other way and appear conciliatory in their personal interactions. Men, on the other hand, do not usually feel such inhibitions and even if they do it is a personal choice/trait not some social interaction protocol seemingly impressed upon by the community.

An afterthought to Aurat

 I have been in permanent awe of the poem "Aurat" written by one of the giants of last century poets Kaifi Azmi, ever since I heard it the first time (you can find it here, along with a translation). The recent events of unimaginable cruelty perpetrated against Indian women made me revisit it and reflect over the ever-growing relevance of its philosophy. As I wondered to myself the progressive nature of his great verse, my thoughts found a resonance in the spirit of the original masterpiece. These are my verses, written in the same spirit as the original, but obviously no match for its eloquence.

----------------------------------------------------

Beshak teri masoomiyat ko kuchla sabne
Teri ruswaiyon ka muzehka banaya sabne
Ashqon ke sailaab mein na ise behne dena
Jo aag mann mein jali, roshan use rehne dena
Tanhaiyon mein bhi jashn hi karna hai tujhe

Uth meri jaan mere saath hi chalna hai tujhe

Darr na tu apni takdeer se ab
Tujhe bhi azaad jeene ka hai har-haq
Khwahish-e-gair par aur tu kurbaan na ho
Apne wajood ki pehchann se anjaan na ho
Har saans mein ek umr ko jeena hai tujhe

Uth meri jaan mere saath hi chalna hai tujhe


---------------------Translation------------------

Though your innocence has been despoiled,
Your destruction has been ridiculed,
Don't let your tears wash away,
The fire that burns bright in your heart
Celebrate even in desolation,

Get up, my love, you have to walk with me

Don't fear what awaits as destiny
You have every right to live free
Don't sacrifice any more for wishes of others
Don't remain ignorant of your own identity
A life awaits you in every breath,

Get up, my love, you have to walk with me


                                                  -- Archana

मेरे घर का पता ...

I got married recently. And as per the perplexing traditions of our society, I left my parent's home and entered a new home with a loving new family. Amidst all the celebrations and excitement, I wonder where do I belong now... This blog defines that for me. (I will include the English translation sometime later.)

जहां आसमान कुछ ज्यादा बड़ा सा है

जहां बोली का रंग थोड़ा खरा सा है

जहां धूप में कुछ ज्यादा गर्मी सी है

जहां हाथों में कुछ ज्यादा नरमी सी है

जहां फूटपाथ के किनारों पर पेड़ो के पत्ते कुछ धुन्दले से हैं

और सडकों पर बेवजह मेले से हैं

जहां गमलों के पौधों में कहीं एक गुलाब भी है

जहां रातों को छत से दिखता एक आफताब भी है

जहां पहलू में बंधा चाबी का एक गुच्छा है

जहां अचारों की अम्बियाँ का स्वाद अभी कच्चा है

जहां आँगन की धूप में कपड़े कुछ पके से हैं

और गिलहरियों के चबाये कुछ चने बिखरे से हैं

जहां चिरय्या के हौद में बाजरा अब भी रहता है

जहां सड़क पर राह चलता कभी भैया कहता है

जहां पेड़ों की ठंडी छांव है

गली के उसी किसी कोने में मेरा मकान है.

-----------------------------------------------Transliterated version--------------------------------------------

Jahaan aasman kuchh zyaada bada sa hai

Jahaan boli ka rang thoda khara sa hai

Jahaan dhoop mein kuchh zyaada garmi si hai

Jahaan haathon mein kuchh zyaada narmi si hai

Jahaan footpath ke kinaron par pedon ke patte kuchh dhundle se hain

aur sadkon par bewajah mele se hain

Jahaan gamlon ke paudhon mein kahin ek gulab bhi hai

Jahaan raaton ko chhat se dikhta ek aftaab bhi hai

Jahaan pehloo mein bandha chabi ka ek guchchha hai

Jahaan acharon ki ambiyan ka swad abhi kachcha hai

Jahaan aangan ki dhoop mein kapde kuchh pake se hain

aur gilhariyon ke chabaye kuchh chane bikhre se hain

Jahaan chirayya ke haude mein bajra ab bhi rehta hai

Jahaan sadak par raah chalta kabhi bhaiya kehta hai

Jahaan pedon ki thandi chhaaon hai

gali ke usi kisi kone mein mera makaan hai.


                                                              -- Archana

When does unfair start becoming fair?

Hello fellow-bloggers

We have a new contributor to this blog now - my dear friend Nishant. I think the more the number of contributors , the more varied the opinions, the less chances of this blog being one-man/woman's trumpet. Keep reading/writing.

Cheers
Archie

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There is no doubt that we have been living in a male-dominated society since mankind (see what I mean … I should say humankind) has been around. This has of course been unfair to women; they have been suppressed until very recently, though this still continues in many parts of the world. History has taught us that any kind of suppression has always created problems. In today’s world I think such problems are visible, though they are very subtle.

Men have enjoyed unquestioned authority for ages. Naturally this has led to evils such as exploitation of women (e.g. not allowing them to have careers of their own), and accepted norms like women leaving their home after marriage to live with their husbands. As a result, the society expects men to be the heads of families, bringing in money to support the family. In such a situation, women who do succeed in making a career of their own, have to yet deal with another problem, typically an ego/chauvinism issue – if their husband is less successful than them. This is again extremely unfair to women.

In today’s world, I believe, these problems have manifested themselves in such a way that the situation has started to reverse, although probably very locally. What I mean is that men are generally assumed to be less trustworthy than women, they are assumed to have ego problems and to be chauvinistic. I’ll give a few examples (1) If a marriage breaks, it is generally thought that it must have been the man’s fault. (2) Let us suppose you have a friend who is a girl. She falls in love with a boy of another caste, and they both hope to get married. Suddenly the boy’s parents refuse to allow inter-caste marriage, and so the boy calls off the wedding. You may feel that the boy is a … and he should have known this before falling in love and making promises. Now let us reverse the situation. Your friend (who is still the girl) calls off the wedding because her parents refused to an inter-caste marriage. Would you call the girl a … or will you sympathize with her? (3) If a woman says “I want to be more successful than my husband”, this is interpreted as she does not want to be known by her husband’s name, she is ambitious, she may be head-strong, etc. If, on the other hand, a man says “I want to be more successful than my wife”, this is generally interpreted as – what a male-chauvinistic pig!

Now the above examples may seem to suggest that I feel that the society is being unfair to men. Well … yes, but they deserve it right? They are the ones who claimed superiority, and they are the ones who started exploiting women. But do all men deserve this, even those who do not have ego issues, who are not chauvinistic, and who completely love their wife and family? I guess the answer should be that not all men deserve this, exactly as women do not deserve the treatment they have got in the past, and continue to get in many places today. It seems to me to be a situation like men dug a pit for women and are falling in it themselves today. Some people may call this fair, others may call it unfair. But I think it is just unfortunate – the society needs to be more balanced when it comes to men and women for the benefit of BOTH!